


No, I’m not homophobic

by ImaMonster



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cultural Differences, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Genderfluid, Hobbits don’t have a gender, Misunderstandings, dwarves are worried, genderfluid hobbits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-07-08 07:13:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19865587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaMonster/pseuds/ImaMonster
Summary: The dwarves know that hobbits have large extended family and never talk to outsiders, they also know that they have never seen a relationship between two people of the same genderThe hobbits know that outsiders are cruel and small minded and think of them as children and that they are weak and attack them when they are different. They know that dwarves especially hate hobbits and often call them names, and that their most common nickname is halfling.So the rule for both races is to always hide what you are





	1. Prologue

Hobbits in general live a fairly standard life they live peacefully and grow up learning how to survive and what trade you will have as an adult. When hobbits are born they know that a child’s mind is a growing thing, they need to expirience life and decide what they want. So when they learn to walk they learn wether they want to wear skirts or trousers, or draw or fight or trade. They grow and decide these things without care and that is how they lived because they knew that as long as they wanted to then they could do. If they wanted to be a girl then they would twirl and dance with grace, if they were a boy then they would learn and grow with curiosity. In the future if they were talked about in front of an outsider they would refer to them with having ‘hazel eyes’ or hazel hair or clothes. Because hazel plants have male and female flowers separately and have Because many plants may have a gender but to the unknowing eye they were all the same. It doesn’t matter about their gender if they were a boy or girl, then, they could choose to have such parts. However most hobbits were fine with being hermaphrodite instead.

Sometimes hobbits would be born and want to be neither, and that was okay too they were just more in tune with nature, because after all a plant doesn’t have to be a gender either, they can be either. Sometimes they are both and that is fine as well because some plants spread their seeds through an outside source (bees) or even just by the wind.

But men don’t understand that and so the hobbits grew afraid of them and would develop a code and names and color on their clothes to signal what they were and how to hide it from the men. They would constantly walk about in bright colors or wearing certain flowers on their clothes or in their hair.

It was a great big secret and no one was allowed to know, not the rangers, not the elves, and most certainly not the wizard who was known to disturb the peace with his misplaced ‘wisdom’ and spread secrets to outsiders.

And so no outsider knew about Bilbo Baggins being a no-gender, and that was the way things were. Until one day he went on an unexpected adventure with 13 dwarves and a wizard.  
  


—————————————————-

The dwarves knew that halflings were weak, scared little creatures. They couldn’t fight and were constantly in the way. But most importantly they were never together with someone of the same gender. 

The dwarves knew that many people were against the fact of same-sex relationships, but due to the fact that the female dwarrow also had beards then they would just pass one of them over as male or female to avoid the men’s reactions. Their females constantly pretended to be male on the road to keep themselves safe anyway, so the dysphoria some had could be stopped with the fact that only dwarves were able to read the braids that proclaimed their gender to the world.

Being accepting of the fact that some in the company were lasses in a male form, or a male in a lasses body, they never had to fear ridicule or hide themselves during bathing hours.

However that all changed due to the fact that a wizard and a hobbit had joined the company for the entire travel to Erebor.


	2. In which it all starts

Chapter 1:

While Bilbo knew that he was unwanted in the company he didn’t realize it would be this bad. Thorin was always glaring at him and talking in khuzdul simply to exclude him, the others sat away from him at all times and when Bilbo tried to start a conversation he quickly became the butt of the joke. Even worse is that they repeatedly called him halfling, Bilbo hated the term even though he knew that they had no way of knowing about how it was meant to make fun of those who were caught by men in Bree and made fun of for supposedly being worth half for liking someone of the same gender.

Dwarrow were very strong and tough he knew that if they decided to fight him his best bet would be to run. He knew that they thought he was male which meant in the case of bathing they would not find anything out of the ordinary. No one could read his brass buttons that said he was a no-gender of Bag-End. Hobbits were social creatures and it was only years of being alone that saved him from feeling hurt from the exclusion or the sting of watching the others tussle. Of course that didn’t stop them from making him do menial chores like getting firewood, dishing out the food, and stealing from trolls.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

**“What were you thinking making him go out there alone,”** Thorin growled in khuzdul. “ **I get that you do not usually think these things through but this is shockingly naive.”**

**“Uncle, we were trying to see his fighting ability and-”**

**“I don’t care the next time you do something so reckless get one of us and talk it out.”** Thorin growled before continuing,  **“You are almost adults and you need to act like it.”** And with those parting words of wisdom he left them to go argue with the wizard.

And then the howling started.   
  



	3. The Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my sister finally got around to updating so I’m sorry for the wait!

“RUN! Get on the ponies!”

“The ponies have bolted”

Radagast spoke up. “I’ll draw them off.” 

Gandalf looked at him like he was crazy, “these are Gundabad Wargs they will outrun you.”

“These are Rhosgobel rabbits. I’d like to see them try.” And with that he shot away his rabbits shooting across the plains and hills. “Come on! Come on! Come and get me!”

The dwarves ran with Gandalf at the front and Bilbo at the back arguing all the while.

“Come on.”

“Stay together.”

“Move!”

“Ori, no! Get back.”

“All of you, come on. Quick!”

Thorin looked at Gandalf “where are you leading us?” Thorin frowned in confusion and fear, “We can’t fight them off!”

Gandalf didn’t spare him a glance merely kept on running, “Move! Run!” Before disappearing in the confusion.

Thorin began to organise the chaos and order everyone about, “Kili! Shoot them!”

However, the dwarves had quickly noticed that Gandalf was missing and immediately began to think the worst:

We're surrounded!

Where's Gandalf?

He's abandoned us.

Hold your ground!

To their shock just as they were giving up hope, he appeared. “This way, you fools! Come on, move! Quickly! All of you!

As they had been running Gandalf had maneuvered them towards a rocky outcrop where there was a hole leading underground. 

Come on!

Go, go, go!

Eight, nine, 10

Kili! Run!

Suddenly, just as everyone prepared for an attack they heard the sound of horns. As giant white horses charged with elves riding safely on their back with swords in hand. While they took care of the remaining orcs and wargs the dwarves were upset about seeing them even if they just saved their life. They frowned and spoke in low tones and mutters, before turning back to the tunnel they had jumped in.

“I cannot see where the pathway leads.”

“Do we follow it or not?”

“Follow it, of course.”

______________________________________________________________________________

“I trust that the food is to your liking?”

Thorin glared and opened his mouth to surely insult the elves taste in food before a kick to his shin under the chair made him swallow his words. “It says much about the elves hospitality,” he said grudgingly, able to find a way to insult the Lord without getting kicked out immediately. 

Balin cut in quickly, “you are truly most gracious in getting rid of the wargs and their riders that followed us.”

Nearby Ori was frowning as Dori spooned a bunch of broccoli onto his plate, before quickly throwing them back in the bowl while Nori distracted him. Bombur was stealing all the rolls and cheese, and Bibo was chatting happily with an elf about the seasoning and “how he had never thought of adding those two things together! Could I get a copy of the recipe?” 

It was an exhausting affair to the dwarves (who would normally be chugging ale and having belching contests.) To add to insult Oin had filled his hearing horn with food to block out the singing in plain view despite having to just put away his horn to stop listening.

So without nary a thought Bofur stood up on his chair and began to sing a tavern song Bilbo had taught him on the road.

(Song goes here)

At the end of the song, spirits were brought up again due to throwing food everywhere and dancing on the table and food. Bilbo was apologizing over and over again to the Elven Lord while the others paid no attention, he was quickly calmed and escorted to the guest rooms for a bath leaving the dwarves behind in the Dining Hall.

When Bilbo finally reached his room he thanked his escort happily, his mother had told him tales of the hospitality of the elves and he was glad they were true. He decided that after his bath he might wander around the palace and see if he could find the library. Maybe he might find some books to practice his sindarin or maybe some elvish poetry. 

______________________________________________________________________________

The dwarves were ushered to the rooms with less patience, as they were constantly bickering and mocking the scenery. The elves hated how the dwarves acted nothing like the hobbit and were hoping the dwarves would leave and let them have the hobbit, after all they had seen that the hobbit was ignored and despite being ushered into the middle of the circle when the horses circled them they didn’t talk to him or even notice he had left earlier. Yes, it would be best if the hobbit stayed with them and be taken care of, they could garden together and discuss poetry and cooking and manners.

When the dwarves got to their rooms they immediately took their packs and gathered in one room to make sure that they would be together incase of an attack. They sent out Nori to steal from the kitchens and Ori to get Bilbo, when they came back they could have an actual dinner with meat instead of stupid greens and then they could set up watch. However in the end Nori came back first so they quickly chopped up a chair for firewood and began cooking the sausages Nori had pillaged. 

When Ori finally came back he informed the others that Bilbo had wandered off to find the library and it had taken Ori some time to find him but since he didn’t want Bilbo to go back to the room alone he grabbed his pack before trying to find him. Despite being upset that Bilbo had wandered off without anyone to accompany him they decided against lecturing him and offered him a sausage stick. 

However they were confused when Bilbo declined, “what’s the matter, Bilbo? We snuck these right from the kitchen and they won’t even notice they’re gone.” They frowned in confusion and tried to encourage the hobbit, after all he needed to keep up his strength and if you just eat flowers you would be too weak to do anything.

“Why didn’t you just eat the food on the table?”

“Those pansies wouldn’t know good food if they were forced to eat it for the rest of their life.”

“Pansies?”  _ What was wrong with that _ , Bilbo thought.  _ A pansy means love in idleness, i’ve heard of it being used as an insult to the men in Bree. Perhaps they also hate pansy flowers? Does that mean that they hate the same things like gender or class? They got along so well despite being in different classes like kings and princes to toymakers and cooks. _

“Yeah you know, a pansy, someone weak.” One of the dwarves muttered “or pathetic” barley loud enough for him to hear, but Bilbo ignored it. The dwarves shrugged, “Maybe it’s not an insult because you like flowers.”

“Or because your all so weak you don’t know the difference.” It was clear it was muttered to make sure he didn’t hear but a hobbit’s ears are not for decoration. Though he didn’t see who said it in the dark where the only light was surrounded by dwarves trying to cook their sausages. 

Despite ignoring it before he decided that he didn’t want to be insulted by them after such a nice night. As he got up to leave, he began to speak, “Well if your going to insult me then I guess I will just go somewhere where im wanted  **despite me being so weak that I don’t know the difference** .” And with those parting words he grabbed his stuff and left in a huff.

**“Great going guys, way to make him feel welcome”** Nori muttered in Khuzdul.

**“Well how was I supposed to know that he would hear me”** Kili protested. He didn’t really mean to say it but it was true wasn’t it! The hobbit was nice but he wouldn’t be able to hold his own in a fight and he was like a small defenseless animal that didn’t know how to hide! Everyone was thinking it!

**“That doesn’t mean you had to say it. How would you feel if you were criticized for being different while surrounded by strangers far from home!”** Nobody knew why Nori was so passionate about this but figured he probably went through it when he started as a thief.

Thorin stood up,  **“I’ll go find him.”**

**“I’ll go too.”** Dwarlin got up as well, putting his axes back in their straps from where they had previously had been sharpening on his knees.  **“It’s best you have some backup in case you run into anyone.”** Nobody mentioned it but they also knew it was to make sure that Thorin came back. His horrible direction was known to lead him everywhere else but the place he was supposed to go.

______________________________________________________________________________

When Dwalin and Thorin finally found Bilbo’s room, they found it empty and (silently cursing the hobbit) went to find him. They went walking for what felt like hours in a hallway with never ending twists and turns. After they found they had passed the same stupid portrait of a garden with a bunch of butterflies Thorin was ready to give up and go back to the others, when they heard the sound of someone running towards them. Quickly turning with their weapons ready they were surprised that it was Bilbo, however as he ran straight past them they realized that while dwarves could see better in the dark due to being miners hobbits probably never developed the skill as they stayed in the light. 

Deciding to follow him without letting him know they were there, they signed to each other to make sure Bilbo didn’t hear their voices before hoping that he was too distracted to hear their boots. When they caught up to him they realized that while they knew he had run they didn’t know why. Staying out of sight and looking out for anything trying to attack their newest member, they turned back around ready to reveal themselves when they saw an elf calmly walk down the hall before seeing Bilbo sitting on the floor against the wall slightly out of breath.


End file.
